TELEVISION COMMERCIAL

1. Major global agency heads will marvel at “India’s ancient and colorful culture”.
2. India will pick up several awards at Cannes.
3. Head honchos of various local agencies will see this as proof positive that “Indian advertising has finally come of age.”
4. The guys who own various shows will laugh all the way to the bank and invite more Indian creative directors to their assorted jury panels.
5. Big B will endorse another gazillion brands.
6. He will be closely followed by Shahrukh Khan.
7. People will be angry with our cricketers’ losses and boycott the brands they hawk.
8. People will be overjoyed with our cricketers’ wins and buy the brands they hawk.
9. Of the 10.5 copywriters left in advertising, 6 will quit to try their hand at writing scripts for Bollywood.
10. Three will join call centers as customer support executives.
11. A large number of art directors will try their hand at set design.
12. The economy will continue to grow as will the number of clients who default on payments.
13. Clients will demand that their logos get bigger. About 99% of the ad space.
14. The Dombivili Daily newspaper will see a sudden spurt of ads in December.
15. Hinglish mein ad likh ne ka nahin toh account executive log tere koh phod dale ga.
16. Said Hinglish-propagating ad guys will be seen queuing up outside English-medium schools to admit their kids.
17. English copywriters will whine about their Hinglish brethren and vice versa.
18. Clients will demand 108 options for every ad, including small space ads.
19. Clients will increase their ad spend by 0.0000420%. This will be seen as a definitive sign that the ad industry has arrested its downward slump.
20. The number of pink slips being handed out at ad agencies will increase by 570%.
21. Account executives will lose their power of speech due to their overdependence on PowerPoint for presentations.
22. The digerati will call agency heads luddites.
23. Agency heads will see interactive folks as a necessary evil so when their kids’ dogs die, they’ll have someone to upload an online shrine.
24. 9,3450 new advertising and marketing jargon words will be coined in 2010.
25. The beginning of 2011 will witness a list of predictions by self-serving folks like yours truly.

~Sunil Shibad. All Lefts Reserved.

The author is seriously considering a career as a tarot card reader.